Every morning you wake up do you feel like the whole world is working against you? Your car won’t start. You spilt coffee on your favourite shirt. Your kids don’t seem to listen to you anymore. At work, your boss doesn’t appreciate all the hard work you do and your friends don’t return your calls.
To be honest, being a victim, you feel used, abused, rejected. You feel like you deserve to suffer. And you feel like you’ll never enjoy the success, joy, or peace you desire.
But what if you could stop feeling like a victim once and for all? What if you could stop suffering this very instant? How might giving up victimhood improve your relationships, your career, your health? Life won’t always go your way, but this doesn’t mean that you are a victim.
By changing the way you think and behave, you can stop feeling like you are being a victim of life, and start feeling more confident and happy in life.
Change The Way You Think
Understand and address your own anger. Many of us unwittingly place ourselves in the victim role by denying our own anger and projecting it on to others instead. When we project our anger on to others, we may unreasonably anticipate aggression from them when they’ve given no real signs of it. Instead of denying your emotions, experience them. Do so without labelling them good or bad, right or wrong.
Avoid trying to understand your anger. To do so may only cement you further into your feelings of being a victim. It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s better and healthier to let it go and to move on rather than trying to understand it or act on it. People who dwell on their anger and try to justify it will often distort the reality around them to match their thoughts.
Related Article by WikiHow: How To Take Contol Of Your Life?
The World Owes You Nothing.
When we feel entitled and that the world owes us good things, we feel cheated when we don’t get these things. This leads to anger and feelings of helplessness and that you are being a victim or victimized.
Psychologists recommend removing words like “fair,” “should,” “right,” and “wrong,” from your vocabulary. These words suggest expectations, and when those aren’t met, you feel frustrated and victimized. Release those expectations and feelings of entitlement. Nobody owes you anything.
Change Your Mindset.
Such thoughts are referred to by some professionals as “the critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice includes self-destructive thoughts aimed at lowering your self-esteem. These thoughts come from an angry, sad place inside of you; their purpose is to keep you unhappy. All of us have a critical inner voice, but while many of us combat the voice with positive self-talk, people who feel victimized believe their critical inner voice.
Many of us are not aware of our negative thoughts, which make it difficult to identify and counter them. When we identify these thoughts, we can address them. One way to do so is to investigate what causes you to shift from a good mood to a bad one. Keep track of what you tell yourself while you’re in that state.
Be Responsible For Your Feelings And Actions.
You are not a helpless bystander in your life. If you can change a situation that makes you unhappy or worse, do so; if you cannot change it, adapt — change the way you approach it, change your attitude. The situation that you are in may very well be unfair or horrible, but dwelling on it won’t change it. Counter passive, self-victimizing brooding with constructive action.
Related to this is the necessity to be proactive. Some situations are unavoidable, but by being proactive you can anticipate and gain some control over a situation rather than merely responding to it after it’s happened. You will even find that you can prevent some undesirable things from happening — for example, you can avoid that bad test score by studying and seeking the necessary help beforehand.
Keep A Daily Journal.
Maintaining a daily journal will not only help you keep track of your moods and feelings; it will also help you come to terms with them. Again, do not try to justify your feelings. Use the journal to observe and adapt, to learn how to experience your feelings without being taken over by them. If you’re in a situation that you want to get out of, use the journal to explore ways in which you might do that.
Find Somes Interests That Make You Happy.
The more time you spend doing things you enjoy, the less time you will have for focusing on negative things that encourage you to feel like a victim or being a victim. Make a commitment to actively a part of your life rather than simply watching it go by.
Think about changing your lifestyle that includes exercise and eating well. Part of taking control of your feelings and emotions includes taking care of your body. Regular exercise will help you release stress and gain confidence. A healthy diet will help regulate your moods, not to mention, it’s much easier to get in touch with your emotions when you’re not riding the highs and lows brought on by a poor diet.
Learn To Be Kind To Yourself.
It will take time to adopt the habits that are necessary to gaining control over your life and learning to stop being a victim. Don’t make yourself feel worse by getting angry when you find that you’re falling back into the victim mentality. Just take a deep breath, forgive yourself, and start again.